Decisions, Decisions

Okay, so let me just put this out there....4 years! It's been 4 years since I wrote a new blog post. How did that happen? L I F E . Life happened. Oh this crazy, never-ending, always something...life. But that's okay. I'm back now and ready to play catch up. HELLO!!! Allow me to introduce myself (for the 3rd time...? hahaha) My name is Lindsey. I have been married for almost 15 years to the same man (bless him) and we now have FOUR (yes you read that right and we absolutely DO know how that happens, thank you) crazy beautiful children! My oldest daughter is 13 (teenager- bless me!), the next daughter is 11, then my one and only son is three ("I'm free Mommy!") and my youngest surprise love is 16 months. 13 and 11........3 and 1...........yes we did basically manage to start over. Yes it's crazy. Yes it's nice to have older kids to help with the littles. "The Littles" that is now how we refer to the younger two kids. Even my son will refer to him and his little sis as the littles. As in, "Mom, can you put on a show for the littles?" HAHAHA that kid. I was a teacher. I went to school and got a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies, K-6 endorsement. I taught for a grand total of 5 years. Then I said "enough is enough" and resigned at the end of this past school year. It makes me sad when I think that the career I hoped for and worked hard for wasn't the "dream job" I had envisioned it to be. Any teacher out there can tell you the strains of the job and it truly isn't an easy one. My family was suffering as well as my sanity and good demeanor, so I decided to put my health and the health of my marriage and family first. What that means today is that I'm sort of between jobs. Kind of scary...a little exciting. Means I may find something I love! That would be nice. I actually have a job- it's mine if I want it and I would start August 1. I'd be working with my husband and while to some that may mean trouble- I don't see it that way. But I am worried that I won't enjoy it. Then there is at least another job that could possibly be mine. I interview for it next week. It sounds more promising as far as something I'd enjoy....but the pay is terrible! There are actually several pros/cons for both jobs and neither comes out a clear answer. So for now, I pray. I am praying that God will somehow show me the direction I need to go in. I looked back through my blog before posting anything new. It was kind of cool to relive some memories and see what I was doing at that time. But it also was a bit disheartening when I read some posts about my weightloss journey. See....I'm just now restarting a new weightloss journey. My goal I'd set back then...I never came close....and two babies since then means I'm even heavier (and older) so it just really stinks. I have been trying to eat clean for the last few weeks and drink water only. Have I fully kept to that? NO, but I'm doing LOADS better than I was. Today, I ordered Beachbody's 21 Day Fix (DVD, meal planner, etc, etc). I'll get it in a week and go from there. I am always so in awe of people I've known for years who begin to lose weight. I keep saying to myself, that'll be me soon! But I have such a love/love/hate relationship with food. It's always there when I need a "friend"- something to make me feel good. To me it is my drug. I've never been a smoker, doper, etc. but food.....ugh food and I go way back. So...we'll see. Pray for me through job stuff and eating healthy and working out. Thanks!